My Debut!

Today was a VERY, VERY big day for me!!!
We got up and chatted with Kevin and then I got ready and headed to Hollywood - I wanted to finally buy those Scissor Sisters tickets that I had tried to get before. So, this time I got to the box office of the Palladium on time, and got two tickets!
I walked over to Floyd's on Cahuenga and Selma to get my haircut, and then I went to Iguana on Hollywood Blvd. to try and find something to wear tonight. Club Blender's theme for the evening was Durrty Disco, so I wanted to find some Studio 54 type clothes, but couldn't decide on anything.
I stopped by the grocery store on the way home to get the supplies for my dishes - there was to be a potluck at the Palms BEFORE Blender, and then Kevin and I would perform between the potluck and the actual club night.
My dishes were going to be my mom's Hot Hamburger Dip, which I make often and it's always a hit - it was one of my favorite things my mom would make when I was younger. I also wanted to make this braided bread filled with pesto and feta that my sister's friend Lindsay makes, so I had Adrienne e-mail me the recipe. When I got home to start cooking, I was a little stressed out. Kevin asked me what was wrong and I told him I'd never performed by myself before in front of an audience, other than the one time I played for my grandma at her nursing home in Kansas. And even then, it wasn't a song I had written, and it was just elderly people many of whom were in wheelchairs and various states of consciousness and still I was so nervous! On top of that, I had been so busy lately that I hadn't even had a chance to practice playing and singing my set at the same time for at least a week, if not two. He told me I really needed to just take a deep breath, calm down, and rehearse - that I would feel so much better if I could run through my set. So, he said he would leave so I could have the place to myself. It was so nice of him.
I ran through the set once, stumbling, nervous, and sweaty (I shut the sliding door to the balcony because I didn't want anyone outside to hear me). It was awful! I thought, if I play like this tonight, I'm going to embarrass myself and my friends and it will be the last time I ever play in public.
Completely flustered, I got up from the piano after barely finishing the last song, and started cooking again, and then pacing. Kevin wasn't back yet, so I thought, OK I need to do this one more time. I sat back down at the piano, this time opening the door so that a breeze came in. I didn't care if people outside could hear me.
This time, it went much more smoothly. There were still mistakes, but I made it through. I felt a little better.
Soon after that, Dylan came home, and I told him what had happened and that I think I really needed to play through the set in front of someone so that I wouldn't be so nervous tonight. So, I played the set for him - for the first time ever - and it was the best it had ever sounded! It seemed I had finally gotten over my anxiety, and I was so happy to be able to play for him, and see how thrilled he looked. I don't know why I've never played for him before.
Kevin came home for a minute but then he was back on his way out to go meet someone for drinks. He asked when he should be at the Palms so I told him 7pm.
Brandon and Angie came to pick up my Piano and take it to the Palms. I hadn't found anything to wear and I was just trying to come up with a vaguely 70's look, and all I came up with was my black t-shirt that says "Morningwood" with a sun and some trees in fuzzy print, and a pair of jeans that sort of have bell bottoms (but not really). It wasn't the best look for my first solo show, but I could be bothered to find anything better.
When we got to the club and started setting up, there were already several people there for the potluck. We put the piano and the PA on the stage and I was about to do a sound check when I realized there was no microphone cable. I ended up almost having a meltdown because apparently there "had been" a microphone cable at the Palms last night, but now no one could find it; the cables both Brandon and I had brought were the wrong kind for the PA (which I had brought). Kevin volunteered to go to Guitar Center, and Viktor said he would pay for the cable, but I was just freaking out, thinking that it might take too long for Kevin to go to Guitar Center, and how there should already be a cable somewhere.
I ended up running home really fast, and once there I thought, OK - there is ONLY ONE PLACE where that cable could be, because I had already looked everywhere else before I left. And, lo and behold, there it was, in a drawer under my computer. Viola!!!
I rushed back to the Palms and we got everything set up for a sound check.
By this time, quite a few friends were there. I won't name everyone because I don't want to leave anyone out, but I was so thrilled, amazed and happy with the people who came out to see me.
I had a couple of drinks to quell my lingering nervousness, and then at one point I jumped up from the bar and told Brandon I was going to start right then and there since no one was paying attention! He said "YOU ARE NOT" and proceeded to go get everyone who was outside smoking and talking.
I went up and sat down at the piano, and saw that everyone was moving up towards the stage. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. Once it appeared that everyone was settled, I introduced myself (at least I think I did), thanked everyone for coming, and introduced the first song of my set, "Winnipeg Beach," by saying it was a song about a Canadian. To my surprise, it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I started playing the song, my fingers were working; I opened my mouth and the words started coming out. So far, so good! Eventually the song was over and everyone was clapping and cheering for me. Ok, I could get used to this!
I introduced the next song by saying something about gays and how they love Kylie Minogue, and that this was me attempting to cover her. So then I played my cover of "Get Outta My Way" which got some response but probably not as much as if I had done an older, more well known Kylie song.
The third song I played was "Not in a Million Years" and I had a few problems on this one. It was probably the most difficult song, as it has a lot of high notes and I still haven't quite mastered the piano part. I introduced it by saying that it was not about anyone in particular and that I had just tried to write something "commercial" which I then regretted saying, but it's the truth. I mean it is based off of feelings that I have had in my life, many moons ago, but not about one specific relationship. I think being able to write a good pop song is taking your own emotions and experiences and being able to distill them to something that still holds meaning to the writer, but can also connect with a wide variety of listeners. Again, I kind of stumbled through some parts of this song, but it wasn't horrible and I at least got the point across.
My last song was another cover and I introduced it by telling this random story about how Duran Duran was one of the first bands I was ever aware of, because my cousin Travis liked them, and once he slept-walk and ripped their poster off his bedroom wall. Then I launched in to my cover of "Ordinary World" which I thought I did pretty good on.
I was going to finish there, but I had made the mistake of telling Brandon that I had one more song sort of worked up in case of an encore, so of course he started yelling "ENCORE" which then others copied and did the same, so I went ahead and sat back down to play "Alien Nation" even though I wasn't completely sure I could play it. I messed up here and there, but it was fun because Angie and Brandon were singing along with me which made it much more fun.
Finally, I was done, and announced, "I'm Finished" which is the last line from the film "There Will Be Blood" and, if I remember, will be my closing line every time I play.
I couldn't believe I had made it through, and I didn't faint, vomit, or embarrass myself too badly!
Afterward I was just very happy and felt so proud of myself. It was something I had always dreamed of doing, and now I had done it! I could move on to bigger and better things. It was a beginning.
Kevin played after me, and I always love watching him play. He has been a huge inspiration to me. I always liked playing keyboards but playing the piano has always been difficult for me. I get bored of the piano sound because I don't like to practice and to make a piano sound good, you really need to be able to play very well. Kevin taught himself how to play and he's a brilliant pianist, and I consider him a musical genius. He can just sit at a piano and play a song that's he's only heard a few times, and then take it one step further and embellish it and change lyrics and make it his own. He can be playing one song and then all of a sudden stick some other song in the middle of it, and then as deftly as he transitioned into the second song, he'll get right back into the first song whenever he feels like it. When he messes up he just laughs or makes some comments and keeps right on playing. He never seems flustered or nervous, and he uses the entire piano, his fingers flying a mile minute over the keys. I know it sounds like I am gushing but truly he is the reason that I had the courage and the determination to arrange this show. Plus, I really wanted to watch him perform again.
It seemed that everyone loved his set too, so I felt good that I could set him up with the show while he was visiting LA.
After he finished, we cleared the stage; Brandon and Angie took the piano home later for me, and I stayed pretty late hanging out and drinking. There were times when I felt so proud of myself it was almost unhealthily euphoric!
There was a moment out on the bench when Kevin stopped by before he was walking back to our house or to another bar where I blabbered on and on to him and I don't know what all I said. For some reason, when I start talking to him, it's like I have no filter and I just say whatever comes to mind and keep going and going. Luckily he doesn't ever seem to mind, or bring it up again later, so he's either just really cool or he's not listening to me - and I'm OK with either of those.


Hello 2010, goodbye junk!
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION LOG ENTRY 224
Taylor Dayne "Naked Without You" CD. I think I bought this for Ben but he already had it.