Blame Canada
I've had some crazy days but this was one of the craziest.
Amy and AJ came to pick Dylan and I up around 9:30 in the morning, which wasn't that bad - we were actually ready to leave by the time they pulled up. I had packed most everything before so I just had to take a shower, get dressed, and throw my toiletries in the suitcase.
We got to LAX behind Red and Laura, who had already gone through security by the time we checked in and printed our tickets from the automatic kiosk. I had been worried about the tickets because one of them had Barb's name on it instead of mine, but it turned out to be fine as well all got checked in with now problems. The line for security seemed infinite, but we made it through in an hour or so, from beginning to end. Then, Dylan and I met Red and Laura in the McDonald's by the gate because we were starving; AJ and Amy went to a different restaurant where they could drink (I didn't want to waste my money on alcohol before getting to Canada).
We had a short layover in Minneapolis - our flight was late arriving there, so I thought we would have to run to the next gate, but that flight was delayed too so we had about an hour to kill. Laura and I got Blizzards at the Dairy Queen in the airport and I read in my book ("Winkie") until it was time to go again.
We got to Winnipeg right around 10pm and it was just then getting dark. We landed and while walking to security, made a half-hearted attempt to make sure we had our "story" straight. See, I had every intention of just telling them that we were there to play as an international band at the Gay Pride Festival. When we played in Iceland, we had no trouble with that whatsoever, and we had carted along our instruments and everything. But, a friend who used to live in Canada advised us that we should not say we were playing a show and should not even bring our instruments, because the Canadian border people would probably not let us in. I really found it difficult to believe - it's Canada for heaven's sake! - but decided maybe we should look into it. We decided we'd not bring our instruments and just say we were visiting friends. Again, our formerly Canadian friend started getting worried about us again, and stressed that even though we were just volunteering to play at the festival, that we should under no circumstances let on that we are a band or that we are even going to Pride, let alone having anything to do with the festival. She was so worried about it that I thought, OK, fine... it must be really difficult. I'd never been to Canada myself, and I vaguely remember reading in the Pansy Division book about how they had sometimes had issues entering the country in their tour van with their CD's and instruments, so I thought maybe we should be cautious. We decided to just say we were visiting our friends - Red had a couple there who were so nice as to volunteer to pick us up from the airport and let us stay at their places - so we really weren't 'lying'; just neglecting to tell the entire truth. So, as I said, we were walking from the airplane to customs and very lightheartedly telling the stories of how we knew Chad and Dorothy, Red's friends who were picking us up. Apparently, we should have taken this much more seriously, because our first mistake was not quite being all together on our story. They questioned all of us on just how we knew these friends, where these friends lived, what they did, what we were going to do with them, etc. Apparently there were enough holes/flaws in our stories to warrant further questioning. After the next line of questioning, which I naively thought we had made it through just fine, came the 'rifling through all our bags' portion of the evening. This delightfully fun activity included the customs agents going through our cell phones to look at pictures (seeing AJ's photos of her playing guitar, at another pride festival); going through all Dylan's drag and giving him the third degree about where exactly he was going to go all dressed up and what his drag name was; going through Amy's pain medication that was prescribed to her for her shoulder injuries; and of course, I had the golden tickets - bunches of Shitting Glitter CD's, and most incriminatory - the setlist. It was titled "SHITTING GLITTER - WINNIPEG PRIDE - 6-6-10 - SET LIST." Not really any way to get around that one! There may have also been some other very scary issues that one or more of us may have had to go through, but when they got right down to it, the problem they had with us was that we had lied. We explained that a friend of ours had told us we would need to lie and not say that we were a band or that we were performing or in any way being compensated for said performance. To which they explained that our friend could be in even bigger trouble than us - counseling is a much more serious crime which included a huge fine and a possible prison sentence. They customs agents were none too pleased that two of us - Red and Laura - had made it through without any issue and we now waiting outside for us. They somehow managed to find them and bring them back in to the interrogation room.
At this point, we were all about to lose it; I certainly was about to have a break down. We explained that we are a gay band that performs at many Gay Pride festivals for no or little pay, only to help promote the cause of gay rights and for visibility of the gay community. After asking us several more questions, looking us up on the internet and finding out that we were in fact scheduled to perform at Gay Pride Winnipeg that weekend, they laid it all out for us. They could send us immediately back to the USA and flag us, making it virtually impossible for any of us to travel to another foreign country anytime in the near future. That was supposed to be the worst case scenario. The 'next worse' one was that we could have a hearing wherein we could try to prove our innocence and possible then be granted entry, or more likely, still be refused and flagged - but since it was Friday night we'd have to be detained all weekend until they hearing on Monday. That definitely sounded like THE WORST option to me. The next option was that they could rip up our entrance papers, send us back home, and it would be as if we had never come there. Of course, I figured then we would probably also have to pay back the Winnipeg Pride organization since they had paid for our plane tickets. So, that didn't really sound so great either. Finally, the main immigration officer hesitantly offered one last option - he could be nice to us, and let us go ahead and enter the country, perform our show, and simply flag us in Canada so that any other time we tried to enter it would show on our record and we'd have to go through the whole thing over again. We all just about died from relief. I couldn't believe after two hours of sweating and nearly crying, we actually were going to be able to pull this thing off after all!
We were very thankful to the man for taking pity on us and allowing us lying, scheming American scum into their wonderful nation. We tried to offer him a Shitting Glitter CD, but he politely declined. With that, we were on our way out of the airport - walking quickly and not looking back.
Chad and Dorothy were indeed there to pick us up and couldn't wait to hear about all that we had gone through. They drove us in two separate cars back to Chad's house, which he had just finished gutting and renovating before we arrived.
For at least a couple hours, we reveled in telling the story aloud to each other, including every little detail - every question, every mean look and comment from the customs agents. What had just an hour ago been horrific and terrifying was now hilarious.
Finally, we had talked ourselves out of energy and it was time for us all to go to bed. Chad was an amazing host and he actually trusted us enough to stay in his house alone as he went somewhere else to sleep.
Hello 2010, goodbye junk!
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION LOG ENTRY 154
Snoggies, kissing teddy bears. These little stuffed bears that, when you put their lips together, make a kissing noise. I think Denny brought these home when he worked at Gold 9 and I'm surprised they still kiss after what must have been over 8 years.
Amy and AJ came to pick Dylan and I up around 9:30 in the morning, which wasn't that bad - we were actually ready to leave by the time they pulled up. I had packed most everything before so I just had to take a shower, get dressed, and throw my toiletries in the suitcase.
We got to LAX behind Red and Laura, who had already gone through security by the time we checked in and printed our tickets from the automatic kiosk. I had been worried about the tickets because one of them had Barb's name on it instead of mine, but it turned out to be fine as well all got checked in with now problems. The line for security seemed infinite, but we made it through in an hour or so, from beginning to end. Then, Dylan and I met Red and Laura in the McDonald's by the gate because we were starving; AJ and Amy went to a different restaurant where they could drink (I didn't want to waste my money on alcohol before getting to Canada).
We had a short layover in Minneapolis - our flight was late arriving there, so I thought we would have to run to the next gate, but that flight was delayed too so we had about an hour to kill. Laura and I got Blizzards at the Dairy Queen in the airport and I read in my book ("Winkie") until it was time to go again.
We got to Winnipeg right around 10pm and it was just then getting dark. We landed and while walking to security, made a half-hearted attempt to make sure we had our "story" straight. See, I had every intention of just telling them that we were there to play as an international band at the Gay Pride Festival. When we played in Iceland, we had no trouble with that whatsoever, and we had carted along our instruments and everything. But, a friend who used to live in Canada advised us that we should not say we were playing a show and should not even bring our instruments, because the Canadian border people would probably not let us in. I really found it difficult to believe - it's Canada for heaven's sake! - but decided maybe we should look into it. We decided we'd not bring our instruments and just say we were visiting friends. Again, our formerly Canadian friend started getting worried about us again, and stressed that even though we were just volunteering to play at the festival, that we should under no circumstances let on that we are a band or that we are even going to Pride, let alone having anything to do with the festival. She was so worried about it that I thought, OK, fine... it must be really difficult. I'd never been to Canada myself, and I vaguely remember reading in the Pansy Division book about how they had sometimes had issues entering the country in their tour van with their CD's and instruments, so I thought maybe we should be cautious. We decided to just say we were visiting our friends - Red had a couple there who were so nice as to volunteer to pick us up from the airport and let us stay at their places - so we really weren't 'lying'; just neglecting to tell the entire truth. So, as I said, we were walking from the airplane to customs and very lightheartedly telling the stories of how we knew Chad and Dorothy, Red's friends who were picking us up. Apparently, we should have taken this much more seriously, because our first mistake was not quite being all together on our story. They questioned all of us on just how we knew these friends, where these friends lived, what they did, what we were going to do with them, etc. Apparently there were enough holes/flaws in our stories to warrant further questioning. After the next line of questioning, which I naively thought we had made it through just fine, came the 'rifling through all our bags' portion of the evening. This delightfully fun activity included the customs agents going through our cell phones to look at pictures (seeing AJ's photos of her playing guitar, at another pride festival); going through all Dylan's drag and giving him the third degree about where exactly he was going to go all dressed up and what his drag name was; going through Amy's pain medication that was prescribed to her for her shoulder injuries; and of course, I had the golden tickets - bunches of Shitting Glitter CD's, and most incriminatory - the setlist. It was titled "SHITTING GLITTER - WINNIPEG PRIDE - 6-6-10 - SET LIST." Not really any way to get around that one! There may have also been some other very scary issues that one or more of us may have had to go through, but when they got right down to it, the problem they had with us was that we had lied. We explained that a friend of ours had told us we would need to lie and not say that we were a band or that we were performing or in any way being compensated for said performance. To which they explained that our friend could be in even bigger trouble than us - counseling is a much more serious crime which included a huge fine and a possible prison sentence. They customs agents were none too pleased that two of us - Red and Laura - had made it through without any issue and we now waiting outside for us. They somehow managed to find them and bring them back in to the interrogation room.
At this point, we were all about to lose it; I certainly was about to have a break down. We explained that we are a gay band that performs at many Gay Pride festivals for no or little pay, only to help promote the cause of gay rights and for visibility of the gay community. After asking us several more questions, looking us up on the internet and finding out that we were in fact scheduled to perform at Gay Pride Winnipeg that weekend, they laid it all out for us. They could send us immediately back to the USA and flag us, making it virtually impossible for any of us to travel to another foreign country anytime in the near future. That was supposed to be the worst case scenario. The 'next worse' one was that we could have a hearing wherein we could try to prove our innocence and possible then be granted entry, or more likely, still be refused and flagged - but since it was Friday night we'd have to be detained all weekend until they hearing on Monday. That definitely sounded like THE WORST option to me. The next option was that they could rip up our entrance papers, send us back home, and it would be as if we had never come there. Of course, I figured then we would probably also have to pay back the Winnipeg Pride organization since they had paid for our plane tickets. So, that didn't really sound so great either. Finally, the main immigration officer hesitantly offered one last option - he could be nice to us, and let us go ahead and enter the country, perform our show, and simply flag us in Canada so that any other time we tried to enter it would show on our record and we'd have to go through the whole thing over again. We all just about died from relief. I couldn't believe after two hours of sweating and nearly crying, we actually were going to be able to pull this thing off after all!
We were very thankful to the man for taking pity on us and allowing us lying, scheming American scum into their wonderful nation. We tried to offer him a Shitting Glitter CD, but he politely declined. With that, we were on our way out of the airport - walking quickly and not looking back.
Chad and Dorothy were indeed there to pick us up and couldn't wait to hear about all that we had gone through. They drove us in two separate cars back to Chad's house, which he had just finished gutting and renovating before we arrived.
For at least a couple hours, we reveled in telling the story aloud to each other, including every little detail - every question, every mean look and comment from the customs agents. What had just an hour ago been horrific and terrifying was now hilarious.
Finally, we had talked ourselves out of energy and it was time for us all to go to bed. Chad was an amazing host and he actually trusted us enough to stay in his house alone as he went somewhere else to sleep.
Hello 2010, goodbye junk!
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION LOG ENTRY 154
Snoggies, kissing teddy bears. These little stuffed bears that, when you put their lips together, make a kissing noise. I think Denny brought these home when he worked at Gold 9 and I'm surprised they still kiss after what must have been over 8 years.
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