Tristan Torres Starnes 1976-2010

This morning was Tristan's funeral. It was at a catholic church, St. Pauls, down on Washington and Bronson. I picked up Marc and James to go with me, and we met Ben and his parents who were already there when we arrived. Ben told us he had gotten the wrong information to us, and that the service started at 10:30, not 9:30, so we had an hour to waste. First though, James and I did go into the church because they were having the viewing. I was sort of surprised that it was an open casket as those seem to be rare these days. Marc and Ben are both Jewish, and Marc said they don't really do that so neither one of them wanted to go see him, but I still remember going to my first open casket funeral for my great uncle Ted when I was very young.
We all went to Starbucks to hang out for awhile before going back to the church. We sat sort of far back and we were definitely a distinct group and I wonder if the family wondered who we all were. Regrettably, I never really got to know Tristan well enough, as I didn't even know his last name until I got the program for the funeral. LA is such a big place, and generally I just know people by their first names, unless they e-mail me or have their last name on their Facebook page or something. Tristan was one of those people I saw in real life rather than online; I'd see him hanging out with my friend Ben, at bars, or at Shitting Glitter shows, and we always got along. I regret not taking more time to hang out with him, but I never expected that he would pass away so young. We learned from family that the official cause of death was organ failure.
Hearing the stories of his relatives and neighbors at the funeral, I finally got to see a bigger picture of Tristan and his life. It's sad that I didn't know these things before, but I also felt like me and my friends who I was sitting with had known a whole different side of Tristan that the other's didn't know. James and Marc even told one of Tristan's relatives after the funeral, that the Tristan we knew was not quiet or shy like they had said; he was bold, boisterous, and the life of the party.
Later that night, Marc was driving back from downtown LA and his iPod was on shuffle, when the song "River Deep, Mountain High" by Tina Turner came on. Out of 14,000 songs, this little mechanical gadget had somehow picked this song that would have made Tristan sing along at full volume, as Tina Turner was probably his absolute favorite singer. I'm not a religious person, but I am spiritual, and I do believe somehow Tristan's spirit lives on through those of us who knew him, manifesting itself in ways that only we would catch on to.
After work, we had the first day of Kiwi Thunder Boot Camp, which is the first time Robin has done his boot camp in the evening. I really was not feeling prepared to start Boot Camp again, but I do really want to try and get in better shape before the summer, and since he moved it to the evenings I didn't have any excuse not to do it. But it was really difficult and as usual, I really needed to throw up after about 35 minutes; but since it was evening, the park was full and there was no little corner I could go puke in privately. I just had to sit out a few exercises while my stomach calmed down. I was finally able to join back in for the last few series and then thankfully, the first day was over! I was very thrilled to have made it through, but I felt dizzy and sick, so Brandon took me home instead of letting me walk like I had initially planned.
When I got home, I had to just lay down in bed. Dylan was deep into the final chapters of the book he's been reading, Stephen King's "Under the Dome," and he said something like "you're not cooking dinner tonight," which I thought meant he was going to take care of it, but really just meant he didn't want me to cook. After a few hours when I finally felt better and got my appetite back, it was apparent that he wasn't going to get dinner for me and we didn't have anything in the house, so I walked over to Whole Foods for the salad bar but ended up spending $10 on it - I swear they make it an optical illusion so you get way more than you need and pay a lot for it. I could only eat half of it, so luckily I ended up with lunch for the next day.
Before bed, we watched the finale of Project Runway, even though I already knew who won since someone has posted it on Facebook. But it was a fun runway show and I thought all the designers did well, but I definitely agreed with the winner, Seth Aaron Henderson. Congrats! I'd love to own one of his pieces someday if he does some men's clothes.

Hello 2010, goodbye junk!
NEW YEARS RESOLUTION LOG ENTRY 129
"Beauty and the Beat" by The Go-Go's, cassette tape. Oddly enough, I never got into the Go-Go's until much later in life, although I had picked up a 7" single of "We Got The Beat" at the ARC Thrift Store in Hays. It wasn't until "Our Lips Are Sealed" was on the soundtrack to one of my favorite movies of all time, Romy & Michele's High School Reunion, that I realized what I missed. Then, it was still a few more years later, when God Bless the Go-Go's was released, and I saw the band live for the first time, that I finally properly went Head Over Heels for them (pardon the pun). I bought this tape so I could listen to it in the car, but later picked it up on vinyl and CD.

Comments

Scarlet said…
You are a great friend, Devin, Tristan was fortunate to have met all of your group in his last days. I am sure you helped him through a very difficult illness.
Angie said…
I was wondering what ever happened to my dear friend, Tristan, from many years ago. We worked at a grocery store over 20 years ago. I’m sorry to see that he passed away. He was such an amazing person with a fabulous personality. Can you tell me more about his life in LA? We lost touch after he moved.
Devin Tait said…
Angie, I'm so sorry I didn't see your comment until now, months later. Blogger doesn't seem to alert me to new comments. I hope you will somehow find this response someday! Tristan was a great friend to one of my best friends, Ben, who also sadly passed away in 2020. The funniest story I remember about hanging out with Tristan is that one night we went to the Palms Bar in West Hollywood and they were having a stand-up comedy show. As I said, Tristan was very loud and boisterous, so I wasn't too surprised when he started loudly heckling one of the comedians who he didn't think was very funny. At some point, the host of the show told Tristan, 'if you think you're so funny, why don't you try to come up here and try to do some stand up.' Tristan got on stage and just did an impromptu comedy set out of nowhere and had us all cracking up! Besides that, I remember his love of music and singing and how much joy he would get when one of his favorite songs would come on in the club.

Popular posts from this blog

Human League Albums: From Worst to First!

All the Thompson Twins albums (+ Babble) ranked!

Amy Crosby, 1970-2021