Daydreams of Youth
The title of this blog entry is the title of a song. Actually, it was a poem written by my Grandma Irene, and back when I was in high school I put the song to music for her, and recorded it with me singing the vocals over a keyboard preset beat and some really cheesy instrumentation.
Last July, just a few days after I had flown to Kansas to visit her and the rest of my family, she suffered a major stroke and is now in a nursing home. She can't really speak or communicate very well other than basic functions like smiling or touching people's hands. My aunt Sharon lives in the same town where my grandma is staying so she visits her often. When my mom and her siblings were cleaning up my grandma's old apartment, Sharon had found the cassette tape that contained "Daydreams of Youth" and played it for her, much to my grandma's delight. Sharon came up with an idea that I could transfer the song onto a compact disc and design an insert for it so it would look like a real CD, knowing how much grandma would appreciate that. I decided to take it one step further and record a new version of the song.
The problem is I have been putting it off, and procrastinating, and I fear that I will not finish it before my grandm passes away. I would never forgive myself for that. And yet when I sit down at the piano and try to figure out a new arrangement for the song, I get frustrated after a few minutes that it's not coming together the way I hear it in my head, and I give up. I do have a precise idea of how I want it to sound, but the idea isn't flowing from my brain to my fingers very well.
The problem seems to be a sympton of a greater issue which involves my own disappointment in my composing and piano-playing skills. Once upon a time I played classical pieces on the piano and would rehearse them until I had them down to a fairly impressive state. Having been in my band, Shitting Glitter, for over 5 years now, I have become more of a "keyboard" player and less of a pianist. My brain is full with Shitting Glitter songs, patterns, programs, and settings. In Shitting Glitter, I have to think about textures, sounds, mixing the volume into the rest of the song, the drums etc. Being a pianist requires a different set of skills and I'm upset with myself for not developing those skills further than I have, or keeping in practice.
I bought a full size electronic keyboard which sounds and feels close enough to a real piano to me, which is a permanent fixture in my living room; the purpose was to be able to sit down and practice the piano at any time. Previously I only had my synthesizers which tended to get packed into their road gear and shoved in the closet when I wasn't playing a show or rehearsing with the band in a studio, so buying the piano really has done a great deal for me. I just wish I had done it a long time ago, and had kept practicing and growing as a pianist.
Well, I'm not going to just blog and complain about it, I need to just keep at it.
In other news, Angela and I went to the gym last night to do a yoga class. I did yoga a few years ago at my first job and hated it. This time was much different and I can honestly say I really enjoyed it. I want to keep with that, too, and really get into it. I like the way it balances physical fitness with mental well-being and meditation. That's definitely something I can use at this point in my life. It's all about balance and stamina which are also very important elements that I feel will help carry me to the next journey of my life.
Brandon and Amy come home from Tahiti this weekend, and as jealous as I've been that they have spent the past week frolicing on a beautiful distant tropical island, I am very excited to hear about their adventures and see the pictures.
Last July, just a few days after I had flown to Kansas to visit her and the rest of my family, she suffered a major stroke and is now in a nursing home. She can't really speak or communicate very well other than basic functions like smiling or touching people's hands. My aunt Sharon lives in the same town where my grandma is staying so she visits her often. When my mom and her siblings were cleaning up my grandma's old apartment, Sharon had found the cassette tape that contained "Daydreams of Youth" and played it for her, much to my grandma's delight. Sharon came up with an idea that I could transfer the song onto a compact disc and design an insert for it so it would look like a real CD, knowing how much grandma would appreciate that. I decided to take it one step further and record a new version of the song.
The problem is I have been putting it off, and procrastinating, and I fear that I will not finish it before my grandm passes away. I would never forgive myself for that. And yet when I sit down at the piano and try to figure out a new arrangement for the song, I get frustrated after a few minutes that it's not coming together the way I hear it in my head, and I give up. I do have a precise idea of how I want it to sound, but the idea isn't flowing from my brain to my fingers very well.
The problem seems to be a sympton of a greater issue which involves my own disappointment in my composing and piano-playing skills. Once upon a time I played classical pieces on the piano and would rehearse them until I had them down to a fairly impressive state. Having been in my band, Shitting Glitter, for over 5 years now, I have become more of a "keyboard" player and less of a pianist. My brain is full with Shitting Glitter songs, patterns, programs, and settings. In Shitting Glitter, I have to think about textures, sounds, mixing the volume into the rest of the song, the drums etc. Being a pianist requires a different set of skills and I'm upset with myself for not developing those skills further than I have, or keeping in practice.
I bought a full size electronic keyboard which sounds and feels close enough to a real piano to me, which is a permanent fixture in my living room; the purpose was to be able to sit down and practice the piano at any time. Previously I only had my synthesizers which tended to get packed into their road gear and shoved in the closet when I wasn't playing a show or rehearsing with the band in a studio, so buying the piano really has done a great deal for me. I just wish I had done it a long time ago, and had kept practicing and growing as a pianist.
Well, I'm not going to just blog and complain about it, I need to just keep at it.
In other news, Angela and I went to the gym last night to do a yoga class. I did yoga a few years ago at my first job and hated it. This time was much different and I can honestly say I really enjoyed it. I want to keep with that, too, and really get into it. I like the way it balances physical fitness with mental well-being and meditation. That's definitely something I can use at this point in my life. It's all about balance and stamina which are also very important elements that I feel will help carry me to the next journey of my life.
Brandon and Amy come home from Tahiti this weekend, and as jealous as I've been that they have spent the past week frolicing on a beautiful distant tropical island, I am very excited to hear about their adventures and see the pictures.
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