romantic rumination
It's turning into fall here... actually, Autumn began Sept. 23rd, almost 2 weeks ago. But here in LA it's often difficult to feel any change in seasons. However I have gladly noticed leaves on the ground and lower temperatures, both of which I appreciate.
Back when I lived in Kansas, I was obsessed with the changing of the seasons, because there the change was usually pretty profound, and I would always find myself reminiscing upon the events that had transpired in the previous years at the same time. Now I'm nearly thirty and I find that I spend all too much time reflecting on the past; the recent past as well as relatively ancient history. If I'm not thinking of the past, I'm speculating about the future. The present tense is just that to me; usually feels like some sort of limbo.
If I think of the present, I think of things that are unfinished, things that never get any easier even though you'd think they would, and things that I want to do in the future (but probably should put off until the unfinished things are taken care of).
Specific thoughts of this week include my friend Carrie who was released from the Wisconsin correctional system yesterday. We had a nice long chat on the phone last night. She sounded well. I'm sure it is fall in Wisconsin, and I hope that helps her feel like she is shedding something and getting ready to plant new seeds that will flourish later on, if they are taken care of.
Also have been thinking more about "Twin Peaks" the television show. I was Ob-sessed with it back in the early 90's. It got me through some rough times. I've been waiting for years for the 2nd season to come out on DVD. I even held off on watching the Series 1 DVD set that I got a few years ago, because I wanted to watch the entire series all the way through. However in the past couple days I watched a couple of the early episodes and while the magic is still there, it's very disconcerting to have to deal with the nostalgia that now accompanies viewing. I find certain characters or scenes or bits of dialogue taking me back to moments in my own life, not in the world of Twin Peaks, which to me is distracting but is also somewhat interesting. Watching "Twin Peaks" is almost like reading a diary of my high school years. It stirs up so many of those long forgetten, adolescent emotions.
Lastly, I have been in over my head with music - writing, recording, rehearsing, listening. I used to think I could just write, record and play music all the time. Now that I'm almost thirty and have so many other things on my mind, I find it getting more difficult, rather than easier, despite my ever-growing experience and knowledge combined with my increasing collection of technological marvels to help me create music. But it is still a thrilling thing to hear new music that I've been a part of creating. I'm in love with several of the new songs Shitting Glitter has been working on, especially Hopeless Romantic and Legalese. I though that The Red State would be my favorite but something about it isn't working right. I'm about ready to scrap my whole keyboard part and change some parts on the Korg too.
Well these are all fairly random thoughts, but that's what's bumping around in my head right now. I almost miss the brief time a couple years ago when I didn't have a car and I had to walk through Hancock Park and Larchmont to get home everyday, as the weather was getting cool and the leaves were on the ground. Maybe I'll go for a walk soon just for fun.
Back when I lived in Kansas, I was obsessed with the changing of the seasons, because there the change was usually pretty profound, and I would always find myself reminiscing upon the events that had transpired in the previous years at the same time. Now I'm nearly thirty and I find that I spend all too much time reflecting on the past; the recent past as well as relatively ancient history. If I'm not thinking of the past, I'm speculating about the future. The present tense is just that to me; usually feels like some sort of limbo.
If I think of the present, I think of things that are unfinished, things that never get any easier even though you'd think they would, and things that I want to do in the future (but probably should put off until the unfinished things are taken care of).
Specific thoughts of this week include my friend Carrie who was released from the Wisconsin correctional system yesterday. We had a nice long chat on the phone last night. She sounded well. I'm sure it is fall in Wisconsin, and I hope that helps her feel like she is shedding something and getting ready to plant new seeds that will flourish later on, if they are taken care of.
Also have been thinking more about "Twin Peaks" the television show. I was Ob-sessed with it back in the early 90's. It got me through some rough times. I've been waiting for years for the 2nd season to come out on DVD. I even held off on watching the Series 1 DVD set that I got a few years ago, because I wanted to watch the entire series all the way through. However in the past couple days I watched a couple of the early episodes and while the magic is still there, it's very disconcerting to have to deal with the nostalgia that now accompanies viewing. I find certain characters or scenes or bits of dialogue taking me back to moments in my own life, not in the world of Twin Peaks, which to me is distracting but is also somewhat interesting. Watching "Twin Peaks" is almost like reading a diary of my high school years. It stirs up so many of those long forgetten, adolescent emotions.
Lastly, I have been in over my head with music - writing, recording, rehearsing, listening. I used to think I could just write, record and play music all the time. Now that I'm almost thirty and have so many other things on my mind, I find it getting more difficult, rather than easier, despite my ever-growing experience and knowledge combined with my increasing collection of technological marvels to help me create music. But it is still a thrilling thing to hear new music that I've been a part of creating. I'm in love with several of the new songs Shitting Glitter has been working on, especially Hopeless Romantic and Legalese. I though that The Red State would be my favorite but something about it isn't working right. I'm about ready to scrap my whole keyboard part and change some parts on the Korg too.
Well these are all fairly random thoughts, but that's what's bumping around in my head right now. I almost miss the brief time a couple years ago when I didn't have a car and I had to walk through Hancock Park and Larchmont to get home everyday, as the weather was getting cool and the leaves were on the ground. Maybe I'll go for a walk soon just for fun.
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