Happy Yuletide, Christmas, Hannukah, etc!
I'm not one of those alleged left-wing Christmas haters, but this time of year is full of mixed emotions for me. Of course, I love the holiday season and the festive atmosphere and decorations, and spending time with friends and family. As a recovering former christian myself, I have years worth of fond memories of Christmas and traditions that I'm glad to have, but in recent years I've grown to despise some aspects of December 25th, namely the commercialism and the Christians who continually try to shove their religious preferences down everyone else's throats.
My thoughts about the holidays were brilliantly portrayed on two of my favorite sitcoms last week, so I wanted to share those instead of going off on some rant of my own, because truly if nothing else, this time of year should be an occasion for all of us to celebrate each other and respect our differences, coming together in love and hope.
On ABC's "Modern Family," Jay, the patriarch of the family, is having difficulties embracing the traditions of his new wife and her son, who want to uphold their Colombian traditions while Jay just wants to do Christmas his way. Manny, his young step-son, finally decides that the best Christmas gift he can give Jay is to go along with Jay's traditions, but luckily Jay has a change of heart and realizes that the most rewarding part of the holidays is making new traditions. This resonated so much with me, because I too have a strong sense of wanting to continue my own family's rituals. For example, the Strecker family always has Oyster Stew on Christmas Eve. This is something I try to make sure we always keep alive, even if sometimes it seems that no one else is that enthusiastic about it, or the fact that my partner does not like Oysters. We used to have other traditions, such as we would open ONLY ONE gift on Christmas eve, and it would be between siblings. That was fun when we were kids, but now is not really practical. In Dylan's family, they opened all their gifts on Christmas Eve.
There are certainly some traditions that are worth keeping, if not every year, at least rotating them in and out. My mom makes some great holiday candies and treats, and while it seems in my mind like she made each and every one of them each year (which probably was not really the case), now I'd much rather have a caramel turtle one year, cherry mash the next, and glass candy the next, rather than all at the same time. For the sake of my gut, if nothing else!
As families grow, not only in age but also with the partners and friends that become part of the family, I think it's important to make everyone feel that their customs and sense of belonging are honored. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to invent new rituals so that everyone feels like they are part of it. Family traditions can make people feel left out when it's not their own tradition, but a healthy mix of old and new can bring everyone together in harmony.
Now, moving on to the so-called "War On Christmas," I'm certainly guilty of doing my fair share of anti-christian holiday campaigning. When I was growing up, everyone I knew celebrated Christmas. That's because I lived in a small town, where most of the people I knew went to the same church. We were pretty much all white Methodists and when you're in that environment, you are taught that Christmas is as American as Apple Pie and Baseball, and other religions are tolerated more than they are respected. In church, we were constantly reminded that "Jesus was the reason for the season" and there were always lots of complaints about people forgetting the "real meaning of Christmas." As a kid, it's sort of like you'll just go along with anything so you can get your toys. So, if we had to sing some songs about baby Jesus and go to church a little more often than usual, it was all worth it when we'd wake up on Christmas morning to a tree full of wrapped gifts. But when you grow up you sort of start realizing all the mixed messages that are being sent. First of all, just trying to reconcile Santa Clause's popularity with Jesus' is a headache unto itself. And the flippant attitude that many Christians have regarding Hanukkah or other holidays is given a pass when it's really no less serious than racism.
This point was demonstrated with a sense of humor and insight on last week's episode of "Community" which is one of my favorite new shows, airing on NBC each Thursday. In this episode, titled "Comparative Religion," one of the members of the study group is an African American lady who really wants everyone to get into the Christmas spirit with her. She is planning a big Christmas Party after finals, on December 10th, and expects all of the study group members to celebrate with her. However, she is shocked to discover that she is the only "christian" in the group, which also includes Troy, a Jehova's Witness; Abed, a Muslim; Pierce, a Buddhist; Annie, a Jewish person (Shirley says "Jew," to which Annie says "next time, say the whole word!"); Britta, an Atheist; and Jeff who, upon stating that he is an Agnostic, is heckled by the rest of the group and called a "lazy man's Atheist" which made me laugh! Shirley tries to appear accepting of everyone's beliefs but it's clear that she does not consider them to be as valid as her own. Although she encourages everyone to bring a "trinket or doo-dad representing their own philosophies" to the party, she is less than subtle in her Christian posturings, decorating the library where they study with a nativity and a Christmas tree in which she stuffs Annie's Menorah (out of sight), and attempting to start a group sing-a-long with a ditty about baby Jesus. But it's funny because it's true - all of us know someone who innocently believes that everyone should celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ regardless of what actual beliefs others may hold. They believe that America is Christian and that Christmas should be the official "American Winter Holiday" because that is the way they were raised and often they don't even realize that they are being offensive to others.
In the show, the group reluctantly goes along with Shirley's festivities because she admits that as a result of her divorce, she won't be celebrating Christmas with her real family and the study group has become her second family. However, the last straw is Shirley's refusal to allow Jeff to attend the party after she discovers he plans on fighting a bully who has been pestering him relentlessly on the day of her party. Britta states that barring Jeff from the brouhaha is not a very Christian thing to do; Shirley snips that it's an interesting point, coming from an Atheist. Ultimately, the group members, sans Shirley, decide to leave the party to go support their friend Jeff, who only got involved with the bully while trying to defend Abed. As Jeff is about to throw the first punch, he suddenly sees the "W.W.B.J.D." (what would baby Jesus do) bracelet that Shirley had given him and realizes that maybe it's not worth it to fight this guy. He tells the bully that he is not going to fight because he wants to honor his friend Shirley's beliefs that this should be a day of peace (even though, as Jeff has pointed out several times, it's December 10 - not Christmas day). Shirley is touched by Jeff's recognition of her beliefs, but when the bully laughs and proceeds to sucker punch Jeff anyway, she quickly becomes angry and tells Jeff to "kick his ass!" At once, all of the group members are drawn into the fight against the Bully and his crew, throwing punches and rolling around in the fake snow and holiday decorations on the campus.
I think it's telling, and touching, that network TV sitcoms can so eloquently, and humorously deal with the current state of the holiday season in this country, a country who's strength has always been the diversity of it's population, even if not everyone always remembers this fact. Traditions have grown and changed and Christmas isn't Christmas for everyone - for me, it has become Yuletide because the historical connotations and origins of Yuletide far better match my own personal beliefs than any other winter holiday. But the one thing we should all be able to agree on and celebrate at this time of year is each other - our friends, families and neighbors who may not always understand why we are the way we are, but at least for one month out of the year, we can try a little harder to do so.
My thoughts about the holidays were brilliantly portrayed on two of my favorite sitcoms last week, so I wanted to share those instead of going off on some rant of my own, because truly if nothing else, this time of year should be an occasion for all of us to celebrate each other and respect our differences, coming together in love and hope.
On ABC's "Modern Family," Jay, the patriarch of the family, is having difficulties embracing the traditions of his new wife and her son, who want to uphold their Colombian traditions while Jay just wants to do Christmas his way. Manny, his young step-son, finally decides that the best Christmas gift he can give Jay is to go along with Jay's traditions, but luckily Jay has a change of heart and realizes that the most rewarding part of the holidays is making new traditions. This resonated so much with me, because I too have a strong sense of wanting to continue my own family's rituals. For example, the Strecker family always has Oyster Stew on Christmas Eve. This is something I try to make sure we always keep alive, even if sometimes it seems that no one else is that enthusiastic about it, or the fact that my partner does not like Oysters. We used to have other traditions, such as we would open ONLY ONE gift on Christmas eve, and it would be between siblings. That was fun when we were kids, but now is not really practical. In Dylan's family, they opened all their gifts on Christmas Eve.
There are certainly some traditions that are worth keeping, if not every year, at least rotating them in and out. My mom makes some great holiday candies and treats, and while it seems in my mind like she made each and every one of them each year (which probably was not really the case), now I'd much rather have a caramel turtle one year, cherry mash the next, and glass candy the next, rather than all at the same time. For the sake of my gut, if nothing else!
As families grow, not only in age but also with the partners and friends that become part of the family, I think it's important to make everyone feel that their customs and sense of belonging are honored. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to invent new rituals so that everyone feels like they are part of it. Family traditions can make people feel left out when it's not their own tradition, but a healthy mix of old and new can bring everyone together in harmony.
Now, moving on to the so-called "War On Christmas," I'm certainly guilty of doing my fair share of anti-christian holiday campaigning. When I was growing up, everyone I knew celebrated Christmas. That's because I lived in a small town, where most of the people I knew went to the same church. We were pretty much all white Methodists and when you're in that environment, you are taught that Christmas is as American as Apple Pie and Baseball, and other religions are tolerated more than they are respected. In church, we were constantly reminded that "Jesus was the reason for the season" and there were always lots of complaints about people forgetting the "real meaning of Christmas." As a kid, it's sort of like you'll just go along with anything so you can get your toys. So, if we had to sing some songs about baby Jesus and go to church a little more often than usual, it was all worth it when we'd wake up on Christmas morning to a tree full of wrapped gifts. But when you grow up you sort of start realizing all the mixed messages that are being sent. First of all, just trying to reconcile Santa Clause's popularity with Jesus' is a headache unto itself. And the flippant attitude that many Christians have regarding Hanukkah or other holidays is given a pass when it's really no less serious than racism.
This point was demonstrated with a sense of humor and insight on last week's episode of "Community" which is one of my favorite new shows, airing on NBC each Thursday. In this episode, titled "Comparative Religion," one of the members of the study group is an African American lady who really wants everyone to get into the Christmas spirit with her. She is planning a big Christmas Party after finals, on December 10th, and expects all of the study group members to celebrate with her. However, she is shocked to discover that she is the only "christian" in the group, which also includes Troy, a Jehova's Witness; Abed, a Muslim; Pierce, a Buddhist; Annie, a Jewish person (Shirley says "Jew," to which Annie says "next time, say the whole word!"); Britta, an Atheist; and Jeff who, upon stating that he is an Agnostic, is heckled by the rest of the group and called a "lazy man's Atheist" which made me laugh! Shirley tries to appear accepting of everyone's beliefs but it's clear that she does not consider them to be as valid as her own. Although she encourages everyone to bring a "trinket or doo-dad representing their own philosophies" to the party, she is less than subtle in her Christian posturings, decorating the library where they study with a nativity and a Christmas tree in which she stuffs Annie's Menorah (out of sight), and attempting to start a group sing-a-long with a ditty about baby Jesus. But it's funny because it's true - all of us know someone who innocently believes that everyone should celebrate Christmas as the birth of Christ regardless of what actual beliefs others may hold. They believe that America is Christian and that Christmas should be the official "American Winter Holiday" because that is the way they were raised and often they don't even realize that they are being offensive to others.
In the show, the group reluctantly goes along with Shirley's festivities because she admits that as a result of her divorce, she won't be celebrating Christmas with her real family and the study group has become her second family. However, the last straw is Shirley's refusal to allow Jeff to attend the party after she discovers he plans on fighting a bully who has been pestering him relentlessly on the day of her party. Britta states that barring Jeff from the brouhaha is not a very Christian thing to do; Shirley snips that it's an interesting point, coming from an Atheist. Ultimately, the group members, sans Shirley, decide to leave the party to go support their friend Jeff, who only got involved with the bully while trying to defend Abed. As Jeff is about to throw the first punch, he suddenly sees the "W.W.B.J.D." (what would baby Jesus do) bracelet that Shirley had given him and realizes that maybe it's not worth it to fight this guy. He tells the bully that he is not going to fight because he wants to honor his friend Shirley's beliefs that this should be a day of peace (even though, as Jeff has pointed out several times, it's December 10 - not Christmas day). Shirley is touched by Jeff's recognition of her beliefs, but when the bully laughs and proceeds to sucker punch Jeff anyway, she quickly becomes angry and tells Jeff to "kick his ass!" At once, all of the group members are drawn into the fight against the Bully and his crew, throwing punches and rolling around in the fake snow and holiday decorations on the campus.
I think it's telling, and touching, that network TV sitcoms can so eloquently, and humorously deal with the current state of the holiday season in this country, a country who's strength has always been the diversity of it's population, even if not everyone always remembers this fact. Traditions have grown and changed and Christmas isn't Christmas for everyone - for me, it has become Yuletide because the historical connotations and origins of Yuletide far better match my own personal beliefs than any other winter holiday. But the one thing we should all be able to agree on and celebrate at this time of year is each other - our friends, families and neighbors who may not always understand why we are the way we are, but at least for one month out of the year, we can try a little harder to do so.
Comments