Eventually we all grow up

When I was a kid growing up on a farm outside of a tiny town in the middle of nowhere, we had MTV. This portal into all things "cool" and "happening" was my lifeline. One of my favorite bands I discovered on the music network was an Icelandic group called the Sugarcubes, and while their lead singer Bjork eventually became a world-famous superstar as a solo artist, it was the band's adorable keyboard player Magga who I was most obsessed with. I even tried calling her on the phone one time, but unfortunately had chosen the wrong option of the two numbers I received by calling the Icelandic directory assistance. However, years later when the Internet arrived, I was able to somehow track down her email address and surprisingly, she wrote me back! I'm sure I have a copy of her response to my ramblings of teenage obsession printed and saved somewhere but essentially she said that I must have "had good taste for a child, but eventually we all grow up." 

Now that I'm in my mid-40s, I do often think about what it means to be a "grown up." Although I valiantly tried to remain hip and youthful through my 30s, and even early 40s, living through a pandemic and watching the world crumble around me was a wake-up call. I could no longer wish or pretend to still be a child; I am now indisputably an adult.

As such, I realized I could no longer live in the same manner I had when I was refusing to acknowledge the aging process. I had lived in the same apartment for 17 years. I had worked the same job for 12 years. I had been with my partner, now husband, for 20 years. It was time to evolve.

In the summer of 2022, I reaped the rewards of some hard work that I had undertaken after the arrival of Covid-19. I did a leadership program and gotten a certification from my industry's trade organization. I had been interviewing for jobs here and there, but I finally got good at it - and scored that "grown up" job that I was finally ready for. We made a move out of Los Angeles, "up north" to Sacramento. 

Now, a year has gone by in my new, adult life. Do I feel differently? Yes, and no. My work is different, but similar. Our home is much nicer, but it's not a block of Santa Monica Blvd. and walking distance to the Sunset Strip and Hollywood. But I feel good, like I am where I'm meant to be, doing what I'm meant to be doing, and for the first time in a long time, I really have no idea what I'll be doing next.