leftovers

I had a very vivid dream last night. I woke up (in the dream, not from it) and I was in my bedroom back in the farmhouse outside of Paradise; the bedroom I had in eighth grade (my brother and I switched rooms for that year, our last on the farm). It was early in the morning, everyone in the house was asleep, though I didn't know at the time who was in the house, and it was completely dark with just a hint of moonlight peaking in through my window. I went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator and took out a cookie. It was like one of those sugar cookies with the thick sugary frosting that Val and Judy from Abigail's Attic got me hooked on; the ones they always have at the grocery store decorated for whatever holiday it's nearest. I had one cookie and remembered, feeling guilty, that I was on the South Beach diet (which I am). I turned to go back to bed, but decided I really wanted one more. I ended up having at least three, at one point aimlessly going through ca...

{This blog entry was titled "Power Blogging, Yay!" but afterwards I ended up adding more to the entry and thus retitling it} I only have 10 minutes to type this blog so I thought I'd challenge myself and see how coherent and grammatically correct I could make this in a short amount of time. I wanted to just talk a little about my obsessions; at any given point I am always obsessing about at least three things. Often these things are familiar subjects that I have been obsessing over on and off for most of my life. Example: the first thing I am obsessing about currently is my hometown, Paradise Kansas. In May, my brother and I are going home for my sister's graduation from Law School, and we are bringing our significant others with us. Now Dylan, my boyfriend, has already been to Paradise as well as Hays (where I attended high school and college), but Brandon has not been out there for years and so neither has his partner. I love showing Paradise off to people who have ...

In the summer of 1991, my family was planning a move. We didn't know where to yet, at the beginning of the summer, but my parents had decided to look for jobs in other towns and we were selling the farm equipment. Over the course of the past year, we had all decided together we wanted to move to a bigger town, and the two that were closest were Hays and Salina. Hays was about 40 miles Northwest of us, and we were all very familiar with the town because we went shopping there almost every week. Both my parents had been taking college classes there and we often went with them on weeknights and stayed at my grandma Irene's apartment, watching TV and ordering Domino's Pizza. I loved to look out her window and watch the traffic (or what I considered to be traffic back at that naive stage in my life) go by on 27th street. Salina, on the other hand, was about an hour and fifteen minutes east on I-70. Salina was considerably bigger than Hays, and we knew almost nothing about it. We...

It was one week ago today that I stumbled across some information on the internet that caught my eye: Logo, MTV's Gay cable channel, was to have a launch party somewhere in Los Angeles on Thursday, March 8. The only details I had were that the band Dangerous Muse would be DJ'ing at the event, as well as the legendary Erasure. Being gay and in a band, I knew this would not only be an opportunity of a lifetime to meet lots of cool people, but I was also pretty sure it was going to be a really fun time. Over a year ago, I subscribed to cable mainly because I wanted to be able to watch Logo. And watch it, I have! It's usually the first channel I turn to, and I've followed several of it's documentary and reality series, re-watched some of the first gay films I ever saw way back in the 90's, and have discovered some great new music because of their "NewNowNext" program as well as "The Click List" countdown. Of course, after seeing so many great vid...

Things are exciting right now. After last week, which was one of my worst and most difficult in recent memory, I guess things could only go up. I am starting a diet today (South Beach) and I know that it's the right time because I'm actually really into it. I have dieted a lot in my life, and sometimes it works; usually it doesn't. I know by now that the difference is how badly I want to do it. I have to be completely ready to do it, and right now I am. It helped a lot that I weighed myself this morning and was shocked by the number that popped up on the scale. Also, I completely indulged this past weekend with regards to junk food and alcohol, so honestly right now the idea of a diet feels refreshing. This weekend, my band went down to San Diego Indie Music Festival where we were performing on the "mature audiences stage." Having had mixed luck in San Diego, and knowing that festivals in general can be really iffy, I think we were all expecting the worst. We were...